On heartbreak and "making it".

I think it is safe to say this has been a hard month for my family. On November 16th, my brother Jared died. All I can say really say is that it is a wonder some of us didn't have heart attacks. NO ONE should EVER have to get a call like we got. All of us have been going though the "what if..." stage. Yes I know that isn't healthy, but people that say the you "shouldn't say that to yourselves" have probably never been through this. There will ALWAYS be "what ifs" for the rest of our lives.

We have all been very overwhelmed by all the love and support we have been shown through out this time. I can honestly say that we have felt every single prayer that has been said for our family. I don't think we would have made it through the first week without them!

The other thing that amazed me was the peace my family felt throughout the viewing and funeral. I didn't cry the whole funeral (ok ok maybe a tear rolled down my face when Jared's casket was being lowered... but that was it).

I consider myself lucky that I got to spend 25 1/2 years with my brother. Jared and I weren't very close these past few years.... it wasn't like we didn't get along or anything, we just were both busy in different ways. For that reason I am SOOOOOOOO glad that I was the only one from our family that got to be in the delivery room with he and Ashley when Lillian was born! As you can tell from my last post, I already felt pretty special about the whole thing.... Little did I know at the time just how important that would be for me... It is something I will always cling to now.

I love you Jared. We will always miss you but I know I will see you again one day!

Jared's Memorial Website