A beautiful song for anyone who has lost a loved one.

My dad and I discovered this song tonight while watching a movie. It is so beautiful!
http://m.youtube.com/results?q=just%20let%20me%20cry&sm=1

On heartbreak and "making it".

I think it is safe to say this has been a hard month for my family. On November 16th, my brother Jared died. All I can say really say is that it is a wonder some of us didn't have heart attacks. NO ONE should EVER have to get a call like we got. All of us have been going though the "what if..." stage. Yes I know that isn't healthy, but people that say the you "shouldn't say that to yourselves" have probably never been through this. There will ALWAYS be "what ifs" for the rest of our lives.

We have all been very overwhelmed by all the love and support we have been shown through out this time. I can honestly say that we have felt every single prayer that has been said for our family. I don't think we would have made it through the first week without them!

The other thing that amazed me was the peace my family felt throughout the viewing and funeral. I didn't cry the whole funeral (ok ok maybe a tear rolled down my face when Jared's casket was being lowered... but that was it).

I consider myself lucky that I got to spend 25 1/2 years with my brother. Jared and I weren't very close these past few years.... it wasn't like we didn't get along or anything, we just were both busy in different ways. For that reason I am SOOOOOOOO glad that I was the only one from our family that got to be in the delivery room with he and Ashley when Lillian was born! As you can tell from my last post, I already felt pretty special about the whole thing.... Little did I know at the time just how important that would be for me... It is something I will always cling to now.

I love you Jared. We will always miss you but I know I will see you again one day!

Jared's Memorial Website

Time to play catch up....

My life lately has been one big whirlwind of busy. I am so very glad that we moved in with my parents and I was able to quit my job because I would not have been able to keep up school and work. The past 2 weeks have been insanely packed with clinicals, tests and papers. Today we had our NCII final. That means just NCIII and NCIV left! I was really nervous at the beginning of the semester about joining in with the 2 year (or 3rd semester) students. My fears were unfounded. I got put into a group with 7 people I didn't know, but they welcomed me with open arms and we all get along well. I'm able to share things I've learned whild being an LPN and they help me with all the paperwork and bookwork (side note: care plans are evil!!). When I'm not in school I'm spending quality time with Michael and Makenna. I'm so glad I get to be with her so much because I kinda missed the 1st year of her life because I was working so much (yes I know I didn't really miss it, but it sure feels like it looking back). We have all been going to the lake at pedrick and hwy 90 to walk in the evenings. It is great spending that time together. Today Raelee and Makenna rode together in the stroller. The girls are becoming best friends and I love it! Shelley babysat Makenna for a bit this afternoon,  and when I picked Makenna up I asked her if she had fun playing with Raelee. Her response (which is awesome because she doesn't talk much yet) was "uh yeah, I did." I then asked her what they did. She replied "we payed (played)". It was so cute!
Makenna is a tough little gal. On Sunday at church she ran up to a little boy to give him a hello hug and got body slammed by him. She didn't even cry. Her only fear right now is this little bug toy Raelee has and footballs. She is absolutely terrified of footballs. It is sad and funny at the same time. If there is one in the room She clings to Michael or I. She has become quite the little monkey. She climbs on EVERYTHING! It scares me to death!
We are all enjoying the new little babies in our family. It's been pretty amazing to see Jared transformed into a dad.
I'll put few pics of our life from the last few months. Sorry for how this post is layed out... it is hard to arrange right from my phone.

A special experience

Yesterday my Brother Jared and his wife (I don't consider her a sister-in-law, she's a full fledged sister!!) Ashley became parents yesterday. I had the wonderful opportunity to be in the delivery room and film little Lillian after she was born. At 7:43 our family welcomed Lillian Harper who is 7lbs 6oz and 19.4 inches long. Ashley did AMAZING through the delivery. She actually made it look easy! And Lillian... oh my...she is beautiful! She is like a little doll!! We are all in love with her... especially Raelee! Makenna loves her and has given her multiple kisses, but she doesn't like it when I hold Lillian... I guess I am only allowed to hold Makenna lol! Today I spent time with Jared and Ashley and held Lillian so they could rest. She is a little snuggle bug!!!

She walks!!!! (Finally!)

Earlier she actually walked across the entire room twice, but my phone was in the other room and I didn't get it in time! Good Job Baby Girl!!!!

Oh the laughter that goes on...

This girl is becoming a crazy wild night owl.... the pic of just her was taken at almost midnight.... looks like I'm about to get much less sleep.... Also she thinks Raelee saying poo poo is funny. Enjoy!

Yes in the video you did hear Shelley say "Because she ate some that's why..." yes... sadly Makenna did eat her poop. This happened all the way back in May though. It made me throw up. Michael had to handle that situation... YUCK!

 

 

AND..... Here is an encore of Makenna and Raelee titled "Oh my left foot" 

Learning away

Makenna sleeps in the cutest positions ever. When I wake up during the night I love to just watch her sleep. It really makes me happy. Also she is doing really good learning her colors.  I have fun playing flash cards  with her.

My girl

Makenna, Makenna, Makenna. You are the light of mommy's life. You are so cheerful, stubborn and adorable. You surprise mommy on a minute-to-minute basis. Tonight you suddenly busted out and said "ball, blue blue ball. Ball ball ball blue ball" as you picked up a small blue ball. You also started saying "nap nap nap nap nap nap" when you are tired. I love how you willing give me and daddy bear hugs and lots of kisses. I love how excited you get when you first see me or daddy in the morning. Yesterday you were mad that mommy got you up from your nap instead of daddy, and when I put you in the bed with daddy (he was sleeping because he was going to work that night) you started hysterically laughing. I think it is adorable how when you drop something you cover your mouth and say "uh oh". I loved the look on your face when I caught you sneaking daddy's chips. I even thought you were pretty darn cute covered in half of the container of Vaseline (I STILL haven't figured out how you got the Vaseline off the shelf). I did NOT however enjoy the call to the poison control center we had to make because you also decided to EAT the Vaseline... We love you our silly girl.

Finals... an evil evil word...

I have a confession to make. I have never really stressed about finals in my life.... until now. Being homeschooled, I never had to worry about "finals" per se, we did take the CAT test at the end of the year, but we were all always more advanced and it wasn't stressful at all. At Lively for LPN school we did have "finals" but they weren't cumulative, so I wasn't worried. As I'm typing though, I guess the NCLEX (state board exam that a nurse has to pass before she gets her license) is kind've a final.... lol.
Anyways... our final is tomorrow... I have been studying non-stop and STILL don't feel ready in the slightest. It is cumulative and counts for 30% of our grade.... I really don't think it would be bad, but this will be our 3rd test in 5 day. Test 1 I passed... Barely... I did great on #2, but I am FREAKING OUT about this one... I'll update tomorrow when I get home.


UPDATE: I PASSED!!!! Now to start packing for the big move! But at least work is done and there is no school until Aug. 26!

Goodbye

Why is saying goodbye always so difficult? We said goodbye to our dog Rylie on Sunday. We were not going to be able to take her with us when we moved in with my parents. We found her a new mommy. Her new mommy lost her last doggy tragically and was very grateful to us. She came on Sunday afternoon to pick Ry up. Rylie LOVED her from the start (which was a huge relief!). We gathered her things together and said some tearful goodbyes. Makenna waved and blew kisses to Rylie until her new mommy's car was out of sight. Then she sat by the front door waving for 15 minutes. It was heartbreaking to watch. People keep telling me "she doesn't understand... she's not old enough to feel loss," but I know she was heartbroken. That night we went to my parents house, and when we got home, Makenna crawled to the back door like she always does so that she could see Rylie. I explained to her again that Rylie went to live with her new mommy. Makenna nodded her head, crawled to the front door, waved bye bye, placed a kiss against the door and then started crying the saddest cry I have EVER heard. So what did I do? I cried too and called Michael at work and he started crying also. We all miss our puppy. :-( But her new mommy said she is doing great and LOVES her new puppy sibling. They live on the 3rd floor and she had to carry Rylie up and down the stairs the first few times, but Ry is already a pro! The best part is, she said we can visit Rylie whenever we want!!

Exploring her new house

"You mean I get to sleep on the bed!?!?!"

Meeting her doggy sibling

My second Goodbye happened today. Today was my last day at my office (I'm working until Friday, but none of it is in the office). There are so many people I'm going to miss dearly. I love all my co-workers so much and our office is so small, we're all like family. There is also an abundance of patients I'll miss. I actually had one start crying when they found out I was leaving. I was told "But what will I do without you?" That kind've sort've made my day to find out m patients love me. My co-workers were great. They did a lunch for me and gave me a card that made me cry. I'll miss every single one of them!

Even with the hard goodbyes, I am beyond excited to be able to focus on my family and on school. Also my sleeping schedule will be normal again!! Yay no more "MUST BE IN BED BY 8 AT THE LATEST" bedtimes for me!!!!!!! I will get to stay late at Sunday dinner (HA! We'll be living there) and actually get to play the family games!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited?

Little Goober!

My little beauty

She's so silly!

She Loves Playing with Daddy!

Peas in a pod!